Ah, to live in the Mushroom Kingdom, where the sun always shines (unless Bowser’s nicked the Shine Sprites again) and the sea is always a lovely bright blue (filled with horrible underwater platforming levels). We’re not bitter because the pandemic is stopping us from getting on a plane or heading to the beach. Not at all. No. We love the inside. It’s where all the video games are.
You’re probably wondering why we’ve brought you here, though. Is it just to look at this nice picture of Mario relaxing on the beach that Nintendo recently posted to celebrate the 4th of July? Ohohoho, dear Nintendo Life readers, this picture goes so much deeper than that.
First off, you’ll notice that Mario’s nipples are back. Last year, probably in response to the whole “oh my god Mario has nipples” thing from a few years ago, Nintendo decided to just… cut them out altogether. No nips for Mario. The year before that, our plumber boy was wearing a shirt, so we have no idea whether there are nipples under there. Also, did you know we have a whole tag for nipples news? Yup.
But now, Mario’s nips are back! Sure, they’re only wee dots, but at least he has them, and is once again confirmed to be a mammal. Phew.
Secondly, these summertime pictures always seem to stir up the fans, who assume that Mario’s mere existence during the summer has to be proof that Super Mario Sunshine is coming to the Nintendo Switch. Technically, last year, it actually did — Super Mario 3D All-Stars includes the divisive goo-cleaning game, although you can’t buy it any more since Nintendo sent Mario to the same place they sent his nipples. So what does this Super Summer Mario mean?
Let’s take a look at the text and see if we can wildly speculate about anything:
Hmmm… Toad… Yoshi… Blooper… Nah, we got nothing. It’s probably just a nice picture.
But thirdly, and most importantly:
Fancy speculating about wild theories involving this picture? Or are you just excited for crab? Let us know in the comments!